God’s Mercy and Forgiveness, Part Two

Posted on January 23rd, 2012 by Pastor Steve Walker

In part one, I wrote that we forgive a person because God commands us to forgive. There are no exceptions to the rule (Matt. 6:12-15; Matt. 18:21-35; Mark 11:25; Rom.12:17-21; Col. 3:13; Eph. 4:32). This first level of forgiveness is called "Judicial Forgiveness."  Judicial Forgiveness can be defined as forgiving the penalty that we would like to see exacted upon the person because of the sin that they have committed against us. God commands us to allow Him to be the judge and jury--relieving us from carrying this burden. Only an omniscient God can make the perfect punishment fit the crime and bring perfect justice to sinful situations. Put simply, we are not omniscient; therefore we cannot exact the perfect punishment for the sins that are committed against us.

I believe that this initial forgiveness is between us and God. This level of forgiveness is for us, not the offender. We realize that though we may not see justice in this life--we’re confident that the offender will not go unpunished if he doesn’t repent and turn to God for mercy (Prov. 23:17-18; Heb. 4:13; 10:31). If he does repent (made possible only by the blood of Jesus) God will forgive him just as he does us when we sin against him (Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14; 1 John 1:8-9).
 

But what if they never ask us for forgiveness? What are we required to do then? Do we pretend everything is ok when we see them? Do we need to be friends and send them a Christmas card, even though they are unrepentant? This is the second level of forgiveness.

The second level of forgiveness is what we call – relational or fellowship forgiveness. "Relational Forgiveness" is defined as restoring the fellowship or relationship that has been broken by sin. This is where Matthew 18:15-35 and Luke 17:3-4 come in. In these verses we are instructed to point out the sin in a friend/family member’s life. Nowhere in Scripture are we allowed to “sit and stew” in anger or over someone who has sinned against us. We are clearly instructed to “go to them.” If they repent and ask us for forgiveness, we are to forgive them and restore fellowship with them. There are no exceptions to this rule - 70 x 7 times! If they do not repent and ask us for forgiveness, we are told to break fellowship with them. The purpose of this is so that we do not enable them in their sin. We are not expected by God to restore the relationship and pretend that a person is not sinning if they refuse to repent. Isn’t this how God treats us? When we repent and are saved, God judicially forgives us. He removes our sin, our guilt, our shame, and gives us the gift of His grace and the righteousness of Jesus. We are seated with Jesus in the heavenlies at the right hand of the Father (Eph. 2:6) where Jesus intercedes for us as our mediator between us and God (1 Timothy 2:5). The truth is--in this life we sin.  Our sin grieves the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30), and our fellowship with God is broken. When we sin, God doesn’t take away our salvation, but he also doesn’t pretend that everything is ok. In fact, Scripture tells us that God will discipline us until we come to him in confession and repentance (Hebrews 12:3-17 and 1 John 1:8-9).  When we confess our sin and come back to Him, He is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Until then, our fellowship with God is broken, our prayers are hindered, and our lives can become miserable (Ps. 32:2-6; Ps. 51, Isa. 59:2, 1 Pet. 3:7).

Now here is the difficult part. Sometimes we will be compelled by love to walk alongside a struggling person and guide them to find help and victory over their sin (and the consequences that result from their choices). This is a very personal decision and should not be done without wise counsel and a plan. Probably the most heart-wrenching example involves someone who is caught up in the life-enslaving sins of drugs, alcohol, or gambling. I’m talking about a loved one who is obviously destroying their lives and might have actually done harm to us as well. While God commands us to judicially forgive them, he does not require us to house them, pay their debt or their bills, bail them out of jail, or even allow them to be in our home. We can choose to get messy by helping them get help and agree to be a part of their struggle within certain parameters, but it’s up to us as to how we do this, given our resources and spiritual maturity.

So forgiveness starts out with the act of withholding punishment and retribution within the context of a relationship that has been harmed or broken by sin. But the relationship can only be restored with one who sincerely repents and asks us for forgiveness (Luke 17:3-4). Sometimes we even need to allow the full extent of the law to be a tool in God’s hand of discipline. An example of this would be a marriage where the husband physically abuses his wife. She will be given strength and power by God to judicially forgive him, but if he refuses to repent and get counseling, she is not required to stay in harm’s way or to pretend like everything is ok. We would counsel her to call the police and have him arrested. And if he repents and agrees to get help, she is called on by God to give him mercy, step aside, and allow him to be changed by the power of God. If he refuses to repent, we would counsel her that her church is to get involved by using the Matthew 18 model of biblical church discipline. Eventually the church would excommunicate him from the fellowship of the church and step in to help her and her family until repentance takes place. This would keep him from coming to church and acting like nothing is wrong.

I know there are an infinite number of situations that this article cannot cover, but hopefully it is clear that forgiveness takes place on two different levels and is not optional for the follower of Jesus. I will talk more about this in future blogs.

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